This past weekend was my wife’s birthday and our 20th anniversary. As part of the “celebration” we went to the movies together. As pretty much everyone knows, especially the parents of teens, the Justin Beiber movie was showing this past weekend and therefore the theatre was full of large groups of squealing teen girls.
Justin Beiber is a hot commodity right now. My wife and I have several Christian friends whose daughters obsess so much over Justen Beiber that it’s all they want to talk about. Most of the conversations center on how “OMG hawt” ol’ Justin is. But it’s not just Justin. Most of their conversation is focused on not only various boys’ “hawntess” but on the appearances of other girls.
You can develop a sense of what is constantly passing through their minds. Basically you begin to come to understand what it is their heart desires.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Phil 4:8, ESV)
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Luke 12:34, ESV)
See, it really doesn’t matter what our age is when it comes to idolatry. If we’re 16 and our constant focus is on how hot other guys and girls are, or if we’re 42 and we’re constantly watching sports or obsessing on our appearance, our heart will still follow where our focus is.
That’s the one thing God leaves up to us. Whether to turn our attention on Him or our idols.
When it comes to our sexual needs and desires, God created men and women differently. Men and boys are more attracted to the physical aspects of sex. It’s one of the reasons that pornography is still mostly a male issue. (although it is growing among women). Women and girls are mostly attracted to the romance, the emotional, the drama of a relationship as opposed to the physical. And it’s these differences that make certain forms of “teen idolatry” seem okay when it comes to girls as opposed to boys.
Not one Christian that I personally know would consider it okay for their teen son to look at or carry around pornography. It’s the raw physical aspects of pornography that a boy or man tends to be more attracted to. Additionally, not one Christian that I know would purchase pornography for their teenage son. It would be unthinkable.
It would be unthinkable because of the kinds of feelings, emotions, and thoughts it invokes in a teenage boy or a married man. It fuels a lust in the heart of boys and men for things that God has not given to them. That’s why it’s sin.
Yet how many Christian parents of teenage girls that my wife and I personally know find it okay to take their teenage daughters to the Justin Beiber movie, buy his music, and spend countless hours talking and fantasizing over him? How many Christian parents found it okay to take their teenage daughters to see the Twilight movies and provide them the Twilight series books? How many Christian parents see no problem with allowing their daughters to spend countless hours talking about how “hawt” the latest male teen idols are or craving to look like the latest female teen sensation?
It’s a “socially acceptable” form of pornography for teenage Christian girls. It, like pictorial pornography for boys and men, fuels the kind of lusts in teenage girls for things that God hasn’t given to them either.
Yes, teenage girls are naturally drawn to giggling about teenage boys. Yes, it’s natural for teenage girls to be concerned about their looks. The desire to find a husband and be beautiful are things that God has placed in the makeup of every female. However, it’s the responsibility of every Christian parent (mom) to direct those gifts of God to be used for the glory of God.
I got news for you……lusting after Justin Beiber, or any other “hawt guy” to the point that is’s all you can talk about is not using those gifts for the glory of God. It’s lust and it’s idolatry. Pure and simple.
Left unchecked, the devoting of a teen girl’s heart to the constant lust for the latest teen sensation will lead to nothing but heartache later in life. Just like pornography use in men places a standard on their wives that can’t be upheld, so does the “emotional pornography” that girls and women are attracted to place a standard on their husbands that can’t be upheld either.
It’s all up to you, Christian parents. Are you going to direct those God-given feelings for God’s glory? Or are you going to throw gasoline on the fire?