But not this morning. It seems my “internal clock” is still working, even though I’m not.
I guess I’m in a place of testing out whether or not I “know” something or whether I really “KNOW” something.
I know that immediately before Jesus’ ascension into heaven, He stated He would never leave nor forsake us…..I also know the bible declares God cares for those who are His own. God is God. His promises are true. God cannot lie.
And this is where the test of my faith comes in…..Do I really KNOW these things?
I’m fully aware, contrary to what the grinning televangelists would tell you, God never promised me wealth and prosperity here on this earth. God is sovereign, and whatever trials and tribulations I face here on Earth are for my sanctification and ultimately His glory (James 1). But when it’s 4:30 on a Monday morning and you would normally be getting up and going to work, supporting your family, it’s a little difficult to know it’s all going to be okay and God’s got it under control.
Looking back at the last couple of difficult years, I’m more aware than ever that I needed these trials. I didn’t have a real faith…..though I’m not sure I have any left at all. Nevertheless, what I thought I had wasn’t real. When trials hit, I “fell apart like a 2 dollar suitcase”.
James 1 says patience produces perseverance and that eventually God’s work will be perfected in me……Can I make it?……Often I wonder because of my double mindedness and unbelief.
I guess maybe I should have tithed more and this wouldn’t have happened to me…….